I.... I don't even know what to say... How such a small game could have such a widely unknown impact. I hope whoever made this has a great life and ist like the person in this story. This truly helped me a lot and has helped many people before.
I dislike venting to people but on such a small platform I feel the need to, I've been widely known as a dumbass, at least I think so, I can't see why not, I've got in many fights more of em for wrong reasons than right and I've tried to off myself 3 times now. Though I've gotten better, I took therapy but life just keeps kicking my ass, it's bittersweet how life can be so good yet treat you so bad. I mean don't get me wrong I have a great life. I mean I'm 17 now and heading into college next month, I've had a great life, friends, sports, a good start and very a very smart mother who's had my back since day 1. But then theirs the other side.
I broke my L1 vertebrae at 15 and have permanent arthritis and a chance to go paralyzed. I have severe OCD to the point if something isn't on schedule or changes other people suffer around me because I panic. I have mild ADHD aswell. Along with physical turrets in which I've nearly broken my fist from accidentally spazzing near a wall and my arm locked up and I hit the brick wall. I also have severe anger issues from my short ass german father who hates everybody who isn't a white fucking Christian. I also have VERY severe BPD (borderline personality disorder) this means I tend to place people on a pedestal based on their very best and it takes me a LOT to put them down. Like it has to be life altering I may die before I don't like them anymore. But once their down they can NEVER climb back up. Not to mention insomnia, I get stuck every night till 5am alone in my thoughts on my bed (doesn't help any). And what sucks I'm a very lazy person. And as much as I can admit that I can't seem to change because of how little effort I want to put into changing... It's like looking at a very fixable downfall and I'm just watching for no reason and I hate it...
I'm not here to ask for help or beg. But to let you know.. whoever's reading that you matter. And that if it takes an angst fucking teen to even say that than many others would too. And that the world cares for you. Don't say nobody would care if I died and instead... Who... and if there isn't anybody think. If I live what would future me think.. would I care then? If I were to put the effort and do what I want to do than What Would I Think. Would I care? Would the people in my life then tell me to stop? ABSOLUTELY. Love yourself, even if at the moment nobody else does. Because there is ALWAYS someone.